I Shall Not Hate, and I shall not be neutral, either

I shall be Buddhist and also very angry.

I've been trying and failing for weeks to post something here about what’s going on in Gaza. First I thought I shouldn’t, because who am I to say anything?

But I feel like saying nothing might be worse.

I wanted to write something in a creative and engaging way (i.e. that you’re not going to scroll through or ignore).

Something that’s personal, but not about me.

Something that’s about peace, but doesn’t ignore how angry I am. (But is still not about me). 

I haven’t succeeded. Obviously.

I have watched people of great influence with a huge public presence not once mention Gaza. I have tried to understand. I haven’t always succeeded at that, either. 

Oh, Chiara.

I’ve thought about a talk I went to more than 10 years ago at McGill University—the university where students have had to protest to show solidarity with Palestinian human rights—and still hasn’t allowed them to. 

The speaker was Dr. Izzeldin Abuelaish. Originally from Palestine, his job was to travel back and forth across the border, caring for patients and delivering babies of both Palestinian and Israeli descent. He did this without any resentment. He did this lovingly. He explained how many Israeli people had completely incorrect ideas about Palestinian people, and how shocked they were at his level of care, his kindness, his willingness. 

In January 2009, an Israeli tank shelled his home and killed three of Dr. Abuelaish’s daughters: Bessan, 21; Mayar, 15; and Aya, 13.

His message, and title of the book he wrote about his story, is “I Shall Not Hate”.

I never forgot Dr. Abuelaish’s talk. How when he came to Canada with his remaining children, the first thing he did was take down the fences that separated his backyard from the others on his block, so there would be no separation between his and the other children.

He has lost 25 family members since October 7, 2023. I am thankful for his voice. Here he is on Piers Morgan:

Ever since I heard him speak, I have tried to practice not hating. I teach other people how to meditate, which is part of that practice (at least it is for me. I’m not always successful at that, either.)

But I’ve started to learn that there is a very big difference between not hating and not being angry. Hating is not helpful. Anger in and of itself is not violence, especially not when processed and understood, is extremely helpful. Anger is, as my meditation teacher says, thwarted love.

That’s what I believe. It makes some people uncomfortable. 

I was really bad at being properly angry for a long time. A lot of us are taught to from a young age that it’s not okay angry. No one teaches us that anger is a normal human emotion that has kept our species alive. Very few people talk about the compassion of anger. (Kirsten Neff is someone who does.) Very few spiritual people encourage the healthy processing of anger.

Meanwhile, a lot of spiritual people with lots of followers are saying lots of supposedly spiritual things these days.

Things like: “Part of our practice here is to discover that our heart can face death, sorrows, and all of life. And that the heart is greater than all of them.” (Jack Kornfield).

And, “But I won’t condemn, because it is the assumptions and mentality of condemnation that keeps us forever on the grisly merry-go-round of carnage on this earth.” (Charles Eisenstein.)

I tried to get down with their words. I can’t. 

I know how many people are going to have a problem with whatever I say. I’ve been called an anti-Semite, and a social media terrorist. I also have friends who say they are not taking sides. That they are not blaming anyone. That they are not pointing fingers.

I love those friends, but I don’t agree with them, either. 

I am taking a side. I shall not hate the people of Israel—or anyone. But I will not be neutral on what’s going on right now. This should not be happening to the people of Palestine. We should be standing with those who are being terrorized, murdered, and whose voices are being silenced.

As Desmond Tutu said, “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”

To be neutral: that is not being peaceful. Nor is being spiritual.

Nina, an Israeli, Jewish person with roots in Ukraine, shared this recently:

roaming.pencil

A post shared by @roaming.pencil

Please read the whole post. It’s important. Nina is quoting a book called And There Was Love In The Ghetto. It refers to how we are inclined to turn away from unpleasant things. She adds that, “There was no internet in the 1940s, but many individuals and nations knew very well what unpleasant thing they were turning away from. So does everyone who is turning away now.”

I don’t think this is a revolutionary idea, but it seems to be. As one friend put it, “It’s wild how speaking up for humanity is considered risky”. 

This is not about me. I feel closely connected to it, as a Lebanese-Canadian with Jewish ancestry, but I am not experiencing it. I don’t want to take away any more airtime from those who are. 

But also, it is about me. It’s also about you. Every single one of is is involved in this in some way. We are all part of what is going on, whether we speak up or stay silent.

I shall not hate, but I won’t stay silent. I’m going to keep talking about this on social media, and here. I’m going to talk about it in conversation. I will not do it hatefully, violently, or unlovingly. But I will do it.

If you want to learn more, here are some excellent resources and knowledgable people to follow.

5 Broken Cameras - documentary film co-directed by Palestinian Emad Burnat and Israeli Guy Davidi

Dr. Gabor Mate - especially his most recent videos (try here, here, and here)

Mohammed El Kurd - Palestinian activist, writer and poet

Matt Bernstein - queer Jewish creator “with very long nails”

Muna El Kurd - Palestinian activist and journalist

The Jewish Voice for Peace - “We picture Palestinians — from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea — living with their inalienable rights respected, building schools and hospitals and planting olive groves with the resources they need.”

Noura Erakat - Palestinian-American human rights attorney, scholar, and activist

Ilan Pappe - Israeli historian and socialist activist

Moataz Azaiza - photojournalist based in Palestine

Amanda Gelender - Jewish Queer anti-zionist

Bisan - filmmaker in Gaza

Shoresh - ant-zionist Israelis in the US

Plestia Alaqad - journalist

Deborah Feldman - author of Unorthodox (which became a Netflix series)

Khaled Beydoun - law professor and author

All That’s Left - English-speaking jews in Israel/Palestine fighting the occupation

The Rational National - independent political commentary, media criticism, news and culture, hosted by David Doel.

Democracy Now! - independent, global weekday news hour anchored by award-winning journalists Amy Goodman and Juan Gonzalez