In the Name of All of Us
In the Name of All of Us
30 Days in Istanbul: Day 24
When living in Istanbul with a small but nervous dog, a remote job, and not enough winter clothing, the perfect morning is when you stumble into the perfect breakfast cafe.
The James Taylor music lured me in. The wood oven stove and friendly owner kept me there. Also, the name. “Cafe Medusa.” Talk about an international woman who got misunderstood.
I ordered Turkish breakfast and sat down merrily to work, already thinking of how I was going to share this with you in my post today. Then I looked at my phone and saw a message from Jasmine, my Syrian friend who lives in Fethiye.
“I didn’t get the job,” it said.
Jasmine had been hired to run cleaning and admin on a bunch of rental properties in one of Fethiye’s resort areas. They put off her start date, twice. Today, she said, the woman told her they don’t have the budget. She (Jasmine) also related, through tears, that her car hasn’t been fixed since an accident she had and she thinks she’s going to have to sell it, and that husband has to have all his teeth taken out. I’m not sure why, and didn’t feel it was the right moment to ask. Instead, I did what I usually do.
“What’s going on with your car? Have you spoken to the police? What about if we paid for it with donations?”
“Natalie,” she said, gently. “For now, I just need you to listen.”
I’m so glad she did.
She said she felt like she shouldn’t complain, because so many people have it so much worse. She said she feels like it’s her fault that she’s in this situation. She said all the things we tell ourselves, all the time.
At then end, once she’d gotten some of the emotion out, I asked her what she needed, financially.
“I don’t want to take money right now,” she said.
Which I understand.
I told her to tell me if she changed her mind.
We hung up, and I got on the phone with everyone I could think of to try to help find her another job. That’s all I could think to do. My sisters are marching in the streets, even the streets (in my soon to be neighbourhood) in which they have been told not to march. I want to join them, but if I get arrested I could lose my residency. I’m hoping I can do more by being a resident here than I could marching today. They’ll be in Kadikoy soon. I might change my mind by then.
I’ll leave you with a poem my friend Willow sent today, and my prayers for peace, liberation and health for all women, everywhere. When women are safe, a whole society is safe.
by Gioconda Belli
(translated by Steven F. White)
If you are a strong woman
protect yourself from the beasts who seek
to feed off your heart.
They use all the disguises of earth's carnival:
they dress up as guilt, as opportunities,
as the price that needs to be paid.
They dig up your soul, drill down with their
looks and cries
into the deepest magma of your essence,
not to partake of your fire
but to extinguish the passion
and erudition of your dreams.
If you're a strong woman
you have to know that the air that nourishes
you
also brings parasites and blowflies,
little insects that seek to lodge in your blood
and feed off what's solid and great in you.
Do not lose your empathy, but fear what
leads you
to swallow your tongue, to hide who you are,
what forces you to submit
and promises you heaven on earth in
exchange
for a complacent smile.
If you're a strong woman
be prepared for the battle:
learn to be alone
to sleep in absolute darkness without fear.
know that no one will throw you a rope in
the storm.
Learn to swim upstream.
Educate yourself in the occupation of
thinking and intellect.
Read, make love with yourself, build your
castle,
surround in with deep trenches
but make wide your doors and your
windows.
it is necessary that you cultivate great
friendships,
that those who love you know who you are.
Make a circle of bonfires and in the centre of
your room
Light a fire that burns eternal and keeps your
dreams alive.
If you are a strong woman,
protect yourself with words and trees
and invoke the memory of ancient women.
Let it known that you are a magnetic field
towards which will fly rusty nails
and the deadly oxide of all shipwrecks.
Protect all, but protect yourself first.
Keep your distance.
Build yourself. Take care of yourself.
Enjoy your power.
Guard it.
Do it for yourself.
I'm asking you in the name of all of us.