Last Saturday afternoon, I was on zoom ACA meeting1.
The sharing part of the meeting had just started. Sharing is something I still struggle with—the unkind parts of me do their best to talk me out of it.
You have nothing important to say.
Let the others talk, their stuff is probably more valuable.
Don’t take up space.
At least now I’m able to acknowledge those parts, and then raise my electronic hand.
Ironically, almost every time I do get the courage to share in a meeting, whether virtually or in real life, I’m met with nodding heads and mm-hmm’s. We don’t give feedback or advice during meetings, but I’ll often get a direct message, or be pulled aside afterwards if it’s a real-life meeting.
Thank you so much for what you said, someone will say.
I feel the same way.
I thought I was the only one.
And sometimes:
Are you available to talk by phone?
Being validated or agreed with is not the point of sharing, but it is a great byproduct. There are few moments more healing in life than knowing you’re not alone.
But that Saturday afternoon, I shared something I’ve never shared in a meeting before.
“I’m struggling with how to deal with the world,” I said. “I don’t know how to process everything that’s going on. All the violence. All the fear. The threat of war in my ancestral land. Sometimes I’m paralyzed about it all. I don’t know what to do.”
Blank stares.
There was just a pause, and then the next person spoke up about their elderly mother who’s in a long term care home.
No one sent any messages.
Instead of feeling understood and more open, which I almost always do after meetings, I felt worse.
I don’t judge anyone for this.
Nor do I take it personally. I know all too well what it’s like to be in so much pain suffering in my own life that the state of the world is far too much to absorb, never mind engage with. This the system we live in: we’re treading water next to each other just to stay afloat, too exhausted by responsibilities and fear and grief to get together and build a raft.
So when I stumbled across this video the next morning, I wanted to stand up and applaud. In it, Alon Mizrahi, an Arab-Jewish writer born and raised in Israel, lays a response to this very issue: how the western way life drains us of our ability to deal with anything larger, like the ongoing genocide and threat of a larger war. I wish everyone on earth (especially westerners) could watch it.
Because I’m super cool, I spent that Saturday might at home with my new favourite band, Lady Parts.
If you’ve never heard of them it’s because, unfortunately, they’re not real. We Are Lady Parts is a TV series about the journey of an all-woman Muslim punk band. It’s refreshing, hilarious, uplifting, heartbreaking, and some of the best TV writing I’ve seen in a while. Stock up on snacks and tissues—you’ll be glued to your couch for a while.
Colonial Outcasts2, a podcast hosted by Greg Stoker, is described as “anti-imperialist, anti-war, and anti-establishment”. I’d add “jam packed with things the mainstream media will never tell you, helpful and practical, and easy to follow.” In this episode, history professor Dr. Butch Ware discusses the overlap of faith and revolutionary movements, the crucial importance of Indigenous forms of governance, plus so much more. I learned so much. It’s so worth a listen.
After she nearly died of measles in New York at the turn-of-the-century, Trudy Ederle’s father refused to let her learn to swim. Not only did she defy him, but she became the first woman to swim the English Channel… at age 20. Young Woman and the Sea tells her story almost with almost no facts changed. I can’t stop thinking about it.
I’ve written about the situation facing Syrian refuges living in Turkey, and in particular, about Amina, a single mum and grandmother I’ve befriended through my friend Jasmine.
Two of Amina’s sons now have migrated to Europe in the hopes of a better life (one of them, age 13, is living in a refugee camp for children in Cyprus). She’s still raising three kids. As prices continue to skyrocket here and she works long hours for the minimum wage, I’m hoping to rally some funds to help them buy school supplies and uniforms so those kids can start the school year with everything they need. (You can read more about Amina’s story here.)
I’ve you’re able to help, even a small amount makes a huge difference. Please respond by email and I’ll let you know how to contribute. Jasmine and I will buy and deliver the backpacks, notebooks and other necessities. As always, I’ll share photos of the kids receiving their loot with everyone who donates.
In conclusion: we’re all in this together.
If any of this resonates, please feel free to share in the comments.
love,
Natalie
Colonial Outcasts is available on Apple podcasts, Spotify etc.